Wednesday, February 20, 2013

MTC - Week 5 "Faith"

How this time flew by so fast I have NO idea! I started packing today, but it feels like I just unpacked! My flight leaves the 26th at 6:00am. Sorry if I didnt write you back this week or my letters were short! Lots going on. My brain is everywhere so forgive me for this scatter brained email.

My emotions have kinda been all over the place. Natural questions about my ability have been filling my head. Am I good enough? Do I even know spanish? Will the people of Florida even care about what I have to say? As I have been having these doubts the idea of Faith keeps popping up everywhere. I think the Lord knows what His missionaries are feeling ;)

So I started to ask my self questions like- How much trust am I putting in the Lord? Do I have enough faith to take away my fear? Do I have enough faith to say 'Thy will be done?'

Looking through all of my favorite scriptures I realized they ALL had to do with faith.
> 2 Nephi 4:19-21 Nephi is feeling sorrow for his sins. Then says 'I know in whom I have Trusted. My god hath been my support...He hath filled me with his love even unto the consuming of my flesh.
> Alma 32: 16, 21-22 Faith isnt to have perfect knowledge, and God is merciful to those who have faith
> Alma 34:14-16 Talks about how if we have faith in the Lord we will be encircled in His arms of safety! How comforting is that!?
> 3 Nephi 9:13-14 Come to the Lord so that He can heal you! Come to Him in faith! His arms of mercy are extended towards you!

Faith is hard. Its hard for the natural man to submit himself to the will of an unseen Lord. Its hard to trust something that we cant see or ever fully understand. But I have learned that we can do all we can, but if we dont have faith, faith that the Lord will carry you and guide you then we dont have much. That is why faith is the very first principle of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We must have faith to recieve answers to prayers, faith to see miracles, and faith to endure to the end. The Lord WILL NOT lead us the wrong direction. He WILL NOT watch us fall. He WILL NOT bring us sorrow without the ability to bring us back up. He DOES NOT want us to be unhappy. I learned that I needed to trust Him. Understand that, the Lord knows whats best, He would not send me out to defend myself  and His gospel all alone! And after all is said and done after I have put in all the work I can possibly put in...I can go to Him and say 'Lord I have faith in Thee, I have worked as hard as I can, I have done all I can do, please finish what I can not, please help me. Thy will be done. I trust Thee.' and He will give me rest.

The day I told the Lord I would give my heart to Him, the day I told Him thy will be done, the day I told Him I will follow all of His commandemnts, and that I will continue work as hard as I can to endure to the end, was the day when the Lord gave me rest. Everyday I work at this promise. it is not easy. Every day I pray for strength to do His will.

Remember Doubt/fear and faith CANNOT coexist!

Hermana Koutz

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