Wednesday, March 13, 2013
If there is anything I have learned this past year it is that we don’t always get to know what’s coming around the corner. Day 1 in Florida was better then I ever could have imagined it. But on day 2 it hit, and by day 4 I was on a plane back to San Francisco. ‘honorary medical release’ they called it, but nothing felt honorary about it. When I was released from being a missionary I felt like I had lost apart of myself. I felt empty, and I had no idea what I was going to do next. The next couple days were a blur. I was lost in my thoughts, completely and utterly confused. But I did know I needed to finish what I started. Finding out that I had to wait at least 6 months before I could go back out was hard and discouraging. But then I began to look at it as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn, grow, and become closer to the savior. ‘Sometimes we don’t know what the lord is trying to teach us. But if we really trust heavenly father it really doesn’t matter what I don’t understand. ‘ One night last summer at 11:45pm some friends and I decided that we should hike Mt. Timp to watch the sunrise. We were completely ill prepared to say the least, and had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. (We had never done the hike before). We began the hike around 12am, happy and cheerful, full of energy. But as time went on we got tired and hungry. All we had were two water bottles each, some pretzels, and chocolate chips. We had two small flashlights and three hours in one went out. We got lost, we got soaking wet walking through rivers and waterfalls, our bodies were hurting and the only thing we wanted to do was turn around. At one point we thought we must be close to the top. We ran into two experienced hikers who told us we had only completed ¼ of the hike so far. Never in my life had I felt so discouraged. But we continued to hike. We hiked through snow, hiked up steep mountains with rocks coming down at us, all in complete darkness. Finally the sun began to rise and we could see the top. We continued to push. Getting to the top was the most rewarding experience. We looked out and saw one of the prettiest sights we had ever seen. As we went down the mountain we were amazed by our surroundings. All 6 hours of uphill darkness were suddenly worth it. We literally had no idea what we were walking through the whole night. We couldn’t see any of it. I think back to this experience often. Trials are often an uphill battle. A battle in the dark that leaves you feeling completely alone. ‘Often we know we don’t want to face it but we don’t have any other option. We just have to push forward.’ And most importantly we need to push forward with faith. We can’t turn around and we can’t give up. I learned that ‘Every experience will be a good experience as long as we stay bonded to the Lord.’ And then we make it to the top and see the beauty. We can see how much stronger the Lord has made us and we begin to understand the journey that we thought was going to break us.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
My first couple of days in Florida were not exactly what I had hoped they would be like. My experience was unexpected and probably one of the hardest things I have been through. The first few days were spent deciding if I would stay and get things worked out in Florida or go home. On Saturday afternoon the decision was made, and I was on a plane just a couple hours later. About three days in the field and I was already going home on a medical release. Whether I go back out or stay home is still completely undecided. I am just trying to take things one day at a time. I am so grateful for my experience at the MTC and regardless if which decision I make I will treasure those memories forever. I trust the Lord and His plan for me. Thank you for all your love and support.